Ladies let me introduce you to....
If you are an 80s child like myself then I'm sure you will have encountered one of these "interesting" looking dolls at some time or another, or like my cousin having been bought one for Christmas and being amazed that there is a signature on its butt cheek!
This book according to the blurb is the "Rags to riches tale of Xavier Roberts and his wonderful fantasy world of the cabbage patch kids". It would therefore be rude of me not to share a little bit of Xavier's empire.
In a nut shell Xavier Roberts was an art student who made cloth dolls (called little people) to sell at craft shows. He offered these not 'for sale' but to be adopted for a fee of $60. There was a huge interest in these doll so looking to expand on his idea, Xavier decided to use his own birth certificate and make a mock up certificates for the dolls and started buying clothes from yard sales to dress them up. People loved them, Xavier soon gave up his day job and started hand making these little people on a full time basis.
Business was booming, and having outgrown his office Xavier decided to buy and convert and old medical clinic into Babyland General Hospital:
Now the best bit....how they are born:
The cabbage patch babies were "birthed" every hour during office hours. The Licensed Patch Nurses were employed to assist 'the Magic Crystal Tree' in producing each baby. So if you want to remain cabbage patch doll free then steer clear of the charms of the 'Magic Crystal Tree' ;o)
So Mother Cabbage is seduced by the magic crystal tree and is now in labor, the intercom system alerts the nurse who rushes to be at hand during the labour. The nurse however cant not assist alone, oh no, help is gratefully received by the pink and blue bunnybees that pollinate the babies with crystals, determining if the newborn is a boy or girl. These fabulous little bunnybees can be seen below along with a fresh newborn :
Now sometimes Mother Cabbage needs a bit of extra help during labour. The nurse monitors mother cabbage on how much the leaves are dilated and injects with "Imagicillin," which is, I quote, an "experimental but highly recommended" drug:
The newborns are then wrapped up and taken to the maternity facility to be cared for by the lovely (and not in the least bit scary) nurses wearing dust masks:
The babies are then put up for adoption. Specially trained adoption agents handle the administration of the "adoption oath" which is a very serious and sensitive commitment:
And then you have your own little cabbage patch kid to love and nurture - just look at the pride on the face of this nurse seeing little miss cabbage patch taking her first steps:
*wipes sentimental tear from eye* Who could resist, even Xavier adopted a couple of cabbage patch children:
Mwahaha!
Happy Monday All
Scarlett x
That was some seriously savvy marketing I've got to say - the adoption certificates, hospital, the whole kit and caboodle! :-) I used to love Cabbage Patch dolls lol.
ReplyDeleteJem xXx
They always use to scare me as a child! lol
ReplyDeleteWhat in the name of....! Yes I do remember these stupid dolls. And yes I did SO want one. I never did get one though and I remember being very green with envy when I visited my cousin and saw she had not one but three cabbage patch dolls.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching a programme where Matthew Kelly went to visit the cabbage patch and helped birth a cabbage patch doll. I remember him pulling that doll by it's head until it popped right out. I truly, truly believed in all the hype, that they were really born from cabbages.
Now I look at them and think "Ew!"
Madison xxx
I'm ALMOST lost for words. Xavier sure had a sense of humour (hopefully) or was one SERIOUSLY messed up guy.
ReplyDeleteI had a lovely cabbage patch doll, her name was Sharrie Christie. Being a destructive, rebellious child - I untied her woollen plait, lost her dress so fashioned one out of a scarf and drew on some lips.
Xavier would have dragged me through the courts.
I was also a fan of the spin-off 'Garbage Pail Kids'. Far more 'me'.
Post of the year for me Scarlett - cheers!
awwww what a great success story of xavier and of course adorable story of cabbage patch dolls/kids, it's so interesting reading about this since i havent heard abt it and when i was growing up in indonesia, nothing as interesting as this, where they even had the cutest general hospital for dolls and look how cute the babies are and the nurses and those couple who adopted that they had to say an oath hehehe..totally loving it and lucky you to get the book with xavier's signature on it! precious! x susan
ReplyDeleteOh my, this brought back some memories ;o)
ReplyDeleteIt makes me realise that sometimes it's good to be a gal of the seventies and not the eighties :o)
Have missed you and your laughter my lovely, and it's good to be back catching up :o)
have a great week Scarlett :o) xx
Aargh, they were so hideous! I had all the garbage pail kid stickers...Willie Wipe Out was the favourite at my school!
ReplyDeleteHaha.. Most Bizarre Marketing EVER! But hey, I "adopted" one in the 80s too. My mom worked so hard to get me one for Christmas so it's got a little cherished place in my heart too. But man, that's some weird stuff!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness! This is wonderfully bizarre in every way possible.
ReplyDeleteI guess these have paved the way for the likes of Build a Bear workshop etc, same concept and idea. Great find, I would have probably bought this book too, for pure nostalgia sake xxx
Haaaaaaaaaah! Too funny Scarlett! I was a little too old for cabbage patch kids and remember being bemused by their ugliness-maybe it was all the experimental drugs that made em so bloated and pale looking!!!
ReplyDeleteMy Grandma collected Cabbage Patch Dolls. She had an insane amount. When she moved into a home they were donated, I think to a children's charity.
ReplyDeleteI love them x
And don't they look JUST like him!
ReplyDeleteHoly faff those things are way creepier than I remember! Great find tho, thats the kind of books I like :)
ReplyDeleteI was coerced into driving into the Appalachians by a friend just to visit Babyland General while our hubs were at a geeky-type conference. Scariest tourist trap ever.
ReplyDeleteI love Cabbage Patch kid dolls, I think I had a fake one my dad bought for me from the Compton Swap Meet, remember when they were recalled? mine got thrown in the trash can wrapped in black bag,Hahahayy Can you believe?
ReplyDeleteThe one taking its first steps is just the freakiest, most nightmare-inducing thing ever!
ReplyDeleteK xx
My daughter's Cabbage Patch Kid was called Addie Kendra! I always wondered why they had such kooky names...after reading your post I think I'll put it down to their wacky creator (and maybe that scary looking nurse with the grey hair!)
ReplyDeleteBabyland General Hospital is in N. Georgia and I visited but did not adopt a cabbage patch kid at that time. However when my Sara was older (yes she is an 80's baby) she did adopt one! What a fun book. hugs, Lindag
ReplyDeleteThat book is brilliant! They even came up with a birthing drug hilarious! My cousin gave me her dolls from the 80's I have an astronaut and a clown.
ReplyDeleteE :)
I'm so glad I didn't read this before bedtime, I'd have had nightmares. That one in a green dress is particularly horrifying!!!
ReplyDeleteI was just sitting my A Levels when the craze for them came about so fortunately to old to get one as a pressie. x
They are obviously all on drugs! It looks like some kind of Cult! I used to have a cabbage patch kid when I was little, though it was probably a newer updated version! xxx
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking how ugly they were then, and still do, but you have to admire the guy’s canny marketing skills. Is he a millionaire now? Must be.
ReplyDeletewho would have thought they would have been a hit, they freaked me out then and still do a bit, but the man did good and is probably living it up now with lots of dolls around him. i think he probably had a nurse outfit fetish!!! x
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh, oh how I remember these dolls....
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I have about 2o or so cabbage patch babies :) they are the plastic head ones, I love them but the whole birthing clinic is too twee for me, I'm going to have to get them out of storage in the wardrobe today and have a look at them, i'll put pics on my blog later, :)
ReplyDeleteI remember these; they were vile things. They were the stuff of nightmares and made Chucky look adorable.
ReplyDeleteP.S. 'The Magic Crystal Tree' sounds very hallucinogenic - "Cosmic, man!"
Thankfully I was too old for them. Way too old. They are truly hideous.
ReplyDeleteI still have my Cabbage Patch Doll, if I'd have known about the creepy birthing set-up I don't think I'd have bothered. x
ReplyDeleteWell I loved them! I got my first one at the Value Village and it was an original! I was thrilled to pieces to pick it up for.... I can't even remember how much, but something cheap *winks* I still love that darn doll!...But then creepy bizarre dolls have always held a special fascination for me! Lol!
ReplyDeleteI've been playing catch-up on all my missed posts Scarlett. You've found some amazing things (as usual) *winks* My nearest Value Village has an Elvis album in the display case....Couldn't help but think of you *winks* Vanna
Oh god I remember the signature on the bums! I was more into the Garbage Pail Kids stickers too hahaha :)
ReplyDeleteWow amazing find.I still have my cabbage patch doll.Her name is Elinore.can't remember the rest.It cracked me up they had belly buttons.I remember they came out with the cabbage patch pets or something.i have the cat I think somewhere.I used to collect the garbage pail kid cards.They even had my name.Yo Yolanda.lol.It's amazing how something like a doll makes you thin how much fun being a kid was.lol.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post! CPK were definitely the marmite of their time, you either loved or loathed them and I LOVED them!
ReplyDeleteI had 4, a kid, preemie, traveller and baby and remember at Christmas having to say the adoption oath in front of my parents! I even had parties on their birthdays and invited friends with their CPKs!
Over the years I've also added odd ones here and there and these dolls were the one thing my mum never let me throw out and they sit in my spare room now!!!!
Oooooh memories!!!!!
Victoria xx