Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn

We all have items in our homes that hold memories be they good or bad or a bit of both.  They may have been gifts (to ourselves or received from others) or could have been items once belonging to someone dear to us.


Whilst clearing out my wardrobe I came across one of my memory items - a pair of polka dot shoes....

These shoes have a bitter sweet memory which goes a little something like this...


I was bullied at school for being the 'fat girl'. There were three of us in my year, all girls carrying a little bit of extra weight that lead us to be subjected to hurtful name calling. I was so shy, I wished everyday that I could blend into the background but my extra weight meant that I stood out from the rest of my peers. My school reports each year said that I was "too quiet in class, needed to speak up more and get involved in class discussions", not a chance!


I decided to get involved with the drama scene at my school, a group of 'outsiders' who didn't care what I looked like and excepted me for who I was. I adored acting as it meant I could get away from being the fat girl and pretend for that time that I was someone else. Once on stage I had so much confidence, in my mind people not looking at 'me' they were looking at the character I was playing. Through my drama classes I developed my love affair with costume and vintage styling.


As soon as the door slammed on my secondary school years and I headed to college I realised that I was never going to be one to follow the crowd, if I was going to be noticed for being bigger than the other girls then I was going to be noticed regardless of what I was wearing or who I was hanging out with.  I fully got to embrace my individuality when I arrived at Uni. No one cared if I was wearing an out of shape men's jumper from Oxfam or if I wanted to wear red lippy at 9 am on a Monday morning.  My friends all had indie posters hanging on their dorm walls, I had Elvis. We would hit a nightclub, them in their boob tubes and tiny skirts, me in something random from a charity shop - they liked me for me and for the first time I couldn't give a damn what anyone else thought.

So what about they shoes? Well I bought these Irregular choice shoes in a discount store, there was no way my meagre bank balance could stretch to the full price of these.  The first outing for my new shoes would be my first in head to toe 50s rockabilly styling.  Being quite tall these big heels gave me some serious height. Walking into the pub that evening I can confirm that I turned heads - mainly because the patrons had never seen a big boobed and butted girl dressed like me before. Yes I got loads of comments and digs "Are you in fancy dress?" was asked and continues to be asked when I go for a night out in my town, but you know what I felt amazing. Truly comfortable in my own skin.


From then on there was no going back ;o)  I love these shoes and what they represent.  I still have self conscious moments, I still revert back to the shy girl of my past, I still carry my curves but I also have the ability to say "This is Me".

 This is why blogland is such an amazing place, we all are excepted for who we are, regardless of our backgrounds, what we are into, where we live or what we look like and I have made some wonderful friends in you all.

 I'll finish off with a quote from the fabulous Helen Hartman in her latest blog post, as I think she sums up a little new year thought beautifully, "Be Bold Enough to Be YOURSELF. Embrace the flaws you know you aren’t going to change and let go of the things that have held you back, starting with the resolutions you know you wont be keeping" Check out Helen's blog Here:
 
Have a fabulous New Year all :o)


Big Love