Friday, 30 December 2011

Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn

We all have items in our homes that hold memories be they good or bad or a bit of both.  They may have been gifts (to ourselves or received from others) or could have been items once belonging to someone dear to us.

Whilst clearing out my wardrobe I came across one of my memory items - a pair of polka dot shoes....

These shoes have a bitter sweet memory which goes a little something like this...

I was bullied at school for being the 'fat girl'. There were three of us in my year, all girls carrying a little bit of extra weight that lead us to be subjected to hurtful name calling. I was so shy, I wished everyday that I could blend into the background but my extra weight meant that I stood out from the rest of my peers. My school reports each year said that I was "too quiet in class, needed to speak up more and get involved in class discussions", not a chance!

I decided to get involved with the drama scene at my school, a group of 'outsiders' who didn't care what I looked like and excepted me for who I was. I adored acting as it meant I could get away from being the fat girl and pretend for that time that I was someone else. Once on stage I had so much confidence, in my mind people not looking at 'me' they were looking at the character I was playing. Through my drama classes I developed my love affair with costume and vintage styling.

As soon as the door slammed on my secondary school years and I headed to college I realised that I was never going to be one to follow the crowd, if I was going to be noticed for being bigger than the other girls then I was going to be noticed regardless of what I was wearing or who I was hanging out with.  I fully got to embrace my individuality when I arrived at Uni. No one cared if I was wearing an out of shape men's jumper from Oxfam or if I wanted to wear red lippy at 9 am on a Monday morning.  My friends all had indie posters hanging on their dorm walls, I had Elvis. We would hit a nightclub, them in their boob tubes and tiny skirts, me in something random from a charity shop - they liked me for me and for the first time I couldn't give a damn what anyone else thought.

So what about they shoes? Well I bought these Irregular choice shoes in a discount store, there was no way my meagre bank balance could stretch to the full price of these.  The first outing for my new shoes would be my first in head to toe 50s rockabilly styling.  Being quite tall these big heels gave me some serious height. Walking into the pub that evening I can confirm that I turned heads - mainly because the patrons had never seen a big boobed and butted girl dressed like me before. Yes I got loads of comments and digs "Are you in fancy dress?" was asked and continues to be asked when I go for a night out in my town, but you know what I felt amazing. Truly comfortable in my own skin.

From then on there was no going back ;o)  I love these shoes and what they represent.  I still have self conscious moments, I still revert back to the shy girl of my past, I still carry my curves but I also have the ability to say "This is Me".

This is why blogland is such an amazing place, we all are excepted for who we are, regardless of our backgrounds, what we are into, where we live or what we look like and I have made some wonderful friends in you all.

I'll finish off with a quote from the fabulous Helen Hartman in her latest blog post, as I think she sums up a little new year thought beautifully, "Be Bold Enough to Be YOURSELF. Embrace the flaws you know you aren’t going to change and let go of the things that have held you back, starting with the resolutions you know you wont be keeping" Check out Helen's blog Here:
Have a fabulous New Year all :o)

Big Love


  1. Awww, thanks for the mention. A former fat girl drama diva here too! It is so amazing that moment when you let go of the fear of what others think. Those shoes are FABULOUS! (as are you, my dear)

  2. hello. I once saw a great interview with Trey parker, one of the creators of south park where he said how the bullies from school never did much with their lives, whilst those that were bullied were always far more interesting. So true.
    it is a shame your teachers didn¨t address the reasons behind you being so quiet. But it is great that you went on to be an individual. I actually think some bullies are envious of the people they bully and it could have been the case with you.
    good resolution anyway and those shoes are beautiful. xxx

  3. Oh, honey. I hear you loud and clear - and I'm old enough to be your mama. Some pains never go away. Time fades them though. I was never bullied, just not accepted as how I wanted to be. But enough about me - I LOVE those shoes. I bet you look terrific any time, but esp in those shoes. Yay for you!

  4. aahhhh i really don't know how to answer such a beautiful heartfelt post.Except to say its great to be different and to stand out from the crowd, being comfortable within your own skin is a great way to be. You have a beautiful soul and you can reach for the stars no matter how you look. Happy new year sweetie, dee xx....and those shoes are gorgeous ;-)) x

  5. Oh gosh Scarlett, this doesn't sound far from my secondary school years. I never felt accepted and shut myself out from the world. I love the fact that your drama classes got you into costume and vintage stlying. It's funny how at the time you don't realise how something can become a life long love affair.

    I'm still working on the confidence, but knowing I have such wonderful blogging friends, who understand and care means the world to me, you included. Have a wonderful New Year lovely xxx

    p.s Those shoes totally rock

  6. Thank you for the shoe post ,How funny I had just done a red she post and shoe stories , loved yours and the blog thanks hx httP://green-glamour.blogspot

  7. An inspiring blog! You're right, it is so nice to be accepted, without anyone knowing exactly who you are and regardless of what you look like! I wish I had the confidence you do now! I know how being the 'fat girl' at school feels, but I am much more confident now and blogging just helps that! Thank you for reminding me! xxx

  8. Great post and I love the shoes.
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

  9. Fabulous story and one I fully relate to!

    Victoria xxx

  10. Bet alot was jealousy coz your a gorgeous looking woman and am sure you were a gorgeous lookng girl chubby or not.Bet they would eat their hearts out now if they saw you today as well.So glad I wasnt a bully cant stand them.
    Have a great new year Miss Scarlett who loves Elvis xx

  11. Awesome post Amor!
    You go girl with your bad gorgeous self! I love you even more now! plus I want your cute gingham platforms to walk tall.
    Happy New Year!

  12. great shoes and a great story Scarlett, happy new year xxx

  13. This brought tears to my eyes as it is pretty much how I feel now, I gained my weight after school while I was away at University. Funny how it takes so long to embrace yourself so happy you are at that stage now! :-)

    Is it a Carrie Bradshaw quote about the right pair of shoes meaning you can conquer the world?

    Jem xXx

  14. Such a beautiful post - great to hear such an inspiring story. I felt the same about drama class - escapism.
    We all share a similar personality, not wanting to 'blend in' but wanting to be accepted all the same.
    It's a shame we don't realise when we are young what the truly important things are.

    Have a wonderful 2012,

    Lucy X

  15. Great post - good for you girl. We love you no matter what you look like or what your wear or what your into, your fab and we wouldn't have you any other way x x x x

  16. I've seen pics of you a couple of times on your blog and you're definetely beautiful on the outside Scarlett, but you know're beautiful on the inside too. And this is what really matters.
    I love the quote from the fabulous Ms Hartman, I'm going to bear that in mind this year...I'm older than you and still struggling to come to terms with things I don't like about my body etc
    I think that it's wonderful that you got your act together re this at such a young age.
    Anyway dear Scarlett, you know I wish you the loveliest 2012. Kisses for the new year, Kylie xxx

  17. What a lovely post Scarlett! That's why I like blogging too!

  18. I think everyone get's bullied at one point in their life or another. I like how those cute shoes have such a big story to tell. =D
    Awsome post!!

  19. Scarlett, you are such a beauty that I am sure is was all just jealousy. More fool them, look at you now stunning!, and real mean always love boobs and bums any day.

    I think everyone has their insecurities, thin, big, tall short, we are only human, but it doesn't make it any easier.

    p.s the shoes are gorgeous!

    Wishing you a wonderful New Year! and a fantastic 2012 ahead. Tam x

  20. I just love this post.I also was bullied for being the skinny girl.It still affects me now.I'm so shy I have a soft voice that doesn't carry loud and I also still get teased about being skinny.But I do have a great feeling of revenge on those mean people from school when I bump into them.I may be 40 but when I see them I still look like i'm 19 and I have no wrinkles and my skin doesn't look all dried out from being in the I bought some jeans that for once fit perfect and made my butt look good.your shoes would look great with them.They are so cute.I love polka dots.Big hugs.x

  21. Honestly? The photos you've put up here of yourself have always made me think..."Wow - she's so sexy and gorgeous."

    Really. You're all woman.

    And those shoes? Fabulous.

    I think schoolgirls are amongst the cruelest of all human beings. It must be to do with inner insecurities and inadequacies - I'd hazard a guess you had something very special that transcended the extra weight and they all saw it and hated it.

    I hope 2012 is a really good one for you Scarlett. xx

  22. you motivate me, Scarlett! i can relate to you about being bullied though in my case was my big boobs coming from a conservative country but mostly filled with hypocrates who thought i was a child prostitute and had my boobs done, some men tried to molest me! though i was skinny but now i'm fat doesnt give me much confidence either but as you say, i want people to accept me as Me and im tired trying to be someone else that im not! thank you for posting this as it really motivates me to become more of myself in the new year, starting today!!

    PS: I absolutely, definitely 100% drooling over your polkadot shoes!!!!

    xx susan

  23. Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the exactly the same. Great post, thanks for sharing the touching story behind those fab polka dot shoes. I think we can all relate in one way or another..

  24. wonderful post and its oh so true how in blogland or even all over the net we chat to ppl and are accepted for who we are!
    Oh and the shoes are gorgeous!!!!!

  25. I definitely relate to being a fat kid who was teased all the time. I am jealous of those shoes - I had never heard of a thrift store as a kid. I used to babysit to earn money for clothes. As a teen we used to roller skate and I slimmed down some. Ahh the unsettled years of youth.

  26. I read your post last night and was gobsmacked - you seem so sassy and confident that I couldn't quite believe you'd had such a bad time at school. School days - they suck. It's just struck me that there may be a lot of girls, and boys, who won't be able to go to uni to, for want of a better phrase, "find themselves". Tuition fees killing off a much-needed rite of passage... I feel angry on behalf of those kids now.

    Well done for believing in yourself and getting to where you want to be. And what trophies those shoes are... Have a fabulous 2012 - Happy New Year! x

  27. You - and your shoes - are fabulous, Scarlett! I think it takes time (varying amounts for all of us) to be happy as we are and not let anyone tell us different. And I completely agree that blogging brings you a really accepting and generous-spirited group of friends. For me, knowing that my virtual friends will appreciate what I'm wearing makes me care a lot less that the folk around me think I'm odd! That's the power of the blogosphere for you!
    Happy new year to you, my dear - keep being you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  28. You just described my entire childhood through high school.....thank God for adulthood and now my boys are a little chubby bless their hearts they took after me and not their slim father but now I have friends that tell me don't let your daughter get fat...I don't think people realize how cruel they sound....Hugs to you and your fabulous shoes Momma to all the best to you and Elvis this next blessed year in 2012!!!

  29. What a great story and I think I now love those shoes too! I hate to admit it but I was a total ass in grade school and did my share of teasing, especially to my lil sister who was always bigger than me. I hate that I did any of those hurtful things and I feel like I will spend the rest of my life trying to undo that crap. Life is way too short to make other people feel bad, it's better to just love them as they are so that is what I do.

    I'm so happy to have met all you of lovely women this year. Have a Happy New Years!!!

  30. wow what a great story dear, oh i hated school time so much too for being a freak and outsider but this times also makes our personality stronger and because of the shit that happend to us we are the persons we are.
    wish you a fabulous and superhappy 2012 dear!
    big kiss,mary

  31. It took me a long time to come into my own! So glad you were able at a much younger age to like yourself as you are! Love the shoes and think your style is unique an fun! No cookie cutter person here anymore...I am me and I love it! Have a wonderful New Year!! Hugs, Linda

  32. Such a gorgeous post that truly brought a tear to my eyes...I could so easily identify with you when you spoke about being the shy quiet bigger girl at school....and the fact it didnt take that much longer for you to find yourself and embrace yourself made me very happy for you...the little I know about you via your blog and the old twitter makes me confident in saying that you're a lovely person inside and out!

    I can actually say that I'm now in a place where I can wear my heart of my sleeve, my flaws out in front of myself and my head held step when I stride in a pair of heels is a little taller and more confident than it was this time last year....there is no such thing as 'normal' or 'perfect' and besides, being like everyone else is boring, I'd rather stop traffic as the pretty, stylish larger shaped lady that I am! Being bigger and confident is something to be damn proud is a sign that you've battled and won the war!

  33. Wow love this post Scarlett! It truly summs up my life too - thank God for individuality! I`ve been that fat girl, big boobed, quiet and different - didn`t help I was South African the seventies I was the only "foreigner" at my local school...bad move! Now, well I don`t give a damn either - "To thine own self be true" William S. A very happy New Year being You :) Hugs Pam

  34. Great post Scarlett. I was the opposite and got teased for being too skinny! Can't win! So glad you have embraced your individuality. Sherry :)

  35. What a brilliant post, Scarlett. I was picked on for being skinny as a teenager but rather than covering up my bony arms and legs I flaunted them to show that the only problem with my body was in other people's head. When bullies realise their pathetic words aren't hunting they soon loose interest.
    Those shoes are fabulous and so are you.
    Happy New Year! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  36. Oh Scarlett. You are one amazing woman!
    I love ya babe :o)

    Have a fantastic New Year my lovely, and you keep that red lippy on :o)
    Donna xxx

  37. What a lovely heartfelt post. I love how a simple item can trigger a bunch of memories good and bad. I'm still working on the confidence thing but blogging has definitely been a huge help in that department. xx

  38. What a post, Scarlett. I'm so glad you risen above all that meanness and are embracing your fAbulousness. You are gorgeous, intelligent, funny and a top blogger! Happy new year. Xxxxxx

  39. A super and thoughtful post Scarlett and I love the image of you walking tall and head held high wearing those gorgeous shoes. You rock n' roll, girl xxx

  40. Great message, thank you for sharing with us and best wishes in the new year!

  41. OOOO! Those shoes are gawjus! I think you can justifiably stick two fingers up to your school "mates" cos from your photos, you've blossomed into a drool worthy siren!

    Madison xxx

  42. What an inspiring post my lovely and uh-ma-zin shoes btw! x

  43. Happy New Year gorgeous! I'm a bit late to this post but glad I didn't miss it as I'd like to add my voice to the chorus saying that we love you just the way you are (Hmm, I seen to be quoting Bridget Jones' Diary there, but you know what I mean). Blogging should be prescribed on the NHS for girls with self-esteem issues, it can do wonders.

    Fab shoes by the way, Irregular Choice has headed away from the sublime to the ridiculous recently, but those are brilliant. And very you.

  44. I love this post, I was the fat girl too! Those shoes are fab just like you!!
    I'm a bit late in popping over to wish a very Happy New Year to you and your family, I hope 2012 is kind to you and that you get all you could possibly wish for xxx


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